Communications between sisters

My dear sister Deborah is always calling me and singing me popular songs, changing the words to fit to my situation. so I sent her this song one day, to the tune of "O Tenanbaum."

O Deborah, my Deborah
How lovely are thine eyeballs
O Deborah, my Deborah,
How lovely are thine eyeballs
They glance so sweet when morning comes
And are devious when day is done
O Deborah, my Deborah,
How lovely are thine eyeballs.

She wrote back with a nice poem, exploiting the fact that I don't have eyebrows.

Naomi, Naomi how thy eyebrows doth shine

They are so light

And flutter through the air

You'd never know

that they were ever there

And perhaps some day

When the world's bereft of delves

They will deign

To show themselves

But until then dear

I fear we must be content

To bid them farewell

Wherever they are sent

And in the life they find there

I pray they become not a bore

But find some eyebrowless peasant

Who needs them more.

So bid them adieu

And shed not a tear

You look so much better

Since they are not here.

We are so silly. =)

Catholic Pick-up Lines

I take the credit for none of these (the first seven are Patrick Madrid's), but thought they were funny. However, my advice to the general Catholic male population out there would be to come up with something a bit better (you know, less trite and silly) if you're not absolutely sure that she's already in love with you. If she is in love with you, it won't really matter what the heck you say. She'll think your brilliant. Nevertheless, be careful all the same, espcially with the arogant ones. I would quite honestly go crazy if a man ever said these things to me before I new him much.

1. Did you feel what I felt when we reached into the holy water font at the same time? (Quiet Man anyone?)

2. You've got stunning scapular-brown eyes.

3. I bet I can guess your confirmation name.

4. You don't like the culture of death either? Wow! We have so much in common!

5. What's a nice girl like you doing at a First Saturday Rosary Cenacle like this?

6. Sorry, but I couldn't help but noticing how cute you look in that ankle-length, shapeless, plaid jumper. (one of my favorites)

7. May I offer you a light for that votive candle? (very cute)

8. The Bible says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry"; how about dinner?

9. You look so beautiful in that mantilla you wear to Mass. (another favorite)

10. Want to go to Adoration with me? (ultimate question)

11. I didn't believe in predestination till I met you. (cute)

12. Man does not live by bread alone. So how about dinner and a movie?

13. What do you think Paul meant when he said, "Greet everyone with a holy kiss" (1Pet 5:24)? (sly)

14. A little bird... the Holy Spirit actually... tells me we should get to know each other a little better. (he had better not be lying)

15. Don't worry, I'm attracted to you purely in a spiritual way.

16. Has anyone ever told you, your eyes are like doves and your neck like the tower of David? (no! Thank goodness)

17. You look like a good vocation

18. Hey ... I don't want to embarass you but your Scapular strap is showing. So ... how long have you been wearing that? We should discuss the Sabatine promises over a 40 hours devotion sometime.

19. “A girl like you only comes along once in a Blue Army meeting.”

20. Presenting a rose: “I just may be the answer to your Little Flower novena.” (he's awefully arogant)

21. “Me, I prefer a more traditional Mass. I’m a regular Latin lover.” (sarcastic "haha")

22. “You look like (an officially approved) apparition!” bold

23. “You’re a saint! Kiss me, and make me a second-class relic!” (from Walker Solis)(whoever that is)

24. "My Guardian Angel thinks you are cute."

25. If I had a bead for every time I though of you, I'd have a joyful mystery. (ingenious)

26. You are like the book of Revelation. You've got me all confused.

27. The body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. May I move my temple closer to yours?

The blushing girl tulip.

Excuses Excuses or Play on Words

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my hand through it.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

(my favorite)
The guy was all over the road! I had to swerve several times before I hit him.

(my sister's favorite)
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and drove over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.

Obits: Our Beloved Doughboy

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy passed away yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma from repeated pokes in the belly.

Doughboy was sent on in a lightly greased cookie sheet. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. They piled the grave site high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, who had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.


The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

If this made you smile for even a brief moment, please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share your smile with someone else that may be having a crumby day and kneads it.