Loneliness

“At times (more often than I’d like to admit) I get a feeling that I’m totally cut off from the world, that there is no one out in the great big world who cares about me, and no one would miss me if I were to suddenly vanish. I want them to miss me. I want someone to talk to, with whom to share my deeper feelings, but I have no such friend. They would probably be glad not to have to send an extra Christmas card…”

Well, that sort of thinking is a little extreme toward the end, but, it expresses a certain sentiment which all social beings experience at one time or other: loneliness, the feeling that one is alone and has no one to turn to… and not by choice. Loneliness is a kennan knowledge, a knowledge which cannot be known definitions and study, but by experience. It is subjective, hence the word meaning of Lone=alone. Certain persons, by virtue of their unique temperaments, are more prone to loneliness than others, and these temperaments therefore face more difficulties in that they must be careful not to wallow in self-pity, and must make a conscious effort to prevent these thoughts from controlling them.

These persons who are particularly beset by loneliness often forget that the reason behind the loneliness is usually their own doing, is a severely self-centered feeling. Furthermore, loneliness is usually brought on by cutting the self off from one’s fellow men, either in actuality or in the mind. This is not to say that loneliness can be unavoidable, say for instance, in the case that several of his dearest friends have double crossed a certain man and then abandoned him. He is very like to feel not only sadness at the loss of friendships (or that which was perceived as such) but also loneliness, precisely because he finds himself alone. Therefore, loneliness is at times unavoidable and legitimate. At other times, though, it is one of those battles for mastery over one’s failings.

I was in one of my very lonely bouts during a difficult time in school and emotional health (they seem to affect each other overmuch for some strange reason), and my sister called me on the phone. She didn’t know what I was going through, but was excited to offer a reflection that she had recently read. “The basic cause of loneliness is the excessive desire to be loved, for this creates an atmosphere of lovelessness. The more we seek to be loved, the less we are loved. The less we are loved, the less lovable we become. And the less lovable we become, the less capable we become of loving anyone else. Like a bird caught in a net, we deepen our tragedy.” Sort of made a lot of sense, and made me feel sort of, shall me say, ashamed? =D

Cures for loneliness? I submit performing acts of charity, constant mental prayer, and focusing on doing things for other specifically because it helps others and not because you are seeking any reward or returned feelings.