Sometimes I really don't know what to do with myselve, especially like right now.

I feel purposeless, though I know I have a purpose.

I feel meaningless, though I know that there is really meaning in my life and my faith.

I feel lonely and unlovable, though people tell me that I am loved.

I feel ugly and defiled

I am tired, zapped, I look as if I had been drop kicked, rolled down a hill and into a lake, and then forced to march back home 5 miles away in less than 2 hours. I am sleep deprived, malnurished, unreflective, and I don't know myself or my life or anything. I'm a mess, for sure. The only way I could look/feel worse is if I had the plague or some other such illness, and a roomate that hated me, and a dead family...

yes, despite all my focus on me, I forget that I am fulfilling God's will in my life today, and that I've received so many wonderful graces, I couldn't begin to count them.

I heard a short time ago that the thing that stops love is resentment. Perhaps I just need to forgive myself and get on with life.

Besides, there are so many souls who need my prayers and help. My godfather, Don Varella, died this morning. May he rest in peace.