You Might be the Oldest in a Large Family If

There is no particular order to these. I owe nearly all of these musings to my family, my seven younger siblings, and my parents. It is not intended to offend anyone, and I'm not saying that you have to be from a large family to be any good.

You might be the oldest child in a large family if:
-you’ve potty-trained at least one of your siblings
-your little siblings come to you when they wet their beds during the night.
-the only place you can be alone is the bathroom (if you’re lucky)
-(if you’re a girl) you do your sisters’ hair up nicely and make them “all pretty” while you leave the house with your brush to do yours in the car at red lights.
-Sunday morning finds you barefooted, in your pajamas, rushing around frantically buttoning your brother’s shirts, tying your sister’s dresses, combing everyone else’s hair, and putting other people’s shoes on. Then your father says “what are you dawdling for!”
-you enjoy the fact that you can tell embarrassing stories about your siblings, but they were too young to remember yours….you hope.
-you’ve ever had a day when you felt like you did nothing but change diapers
-your siblings think you know everything, and you never disenchant them.
-people compliment your well-behaved children, and you just say “thank you, sir,” without attempting to explain they are your siblings.
-you have been mistaken for your father’s/mother’s wife/husband, and your parent didn’t try to deny it.
-your siblings refer to you as “the big/old girl/boy.”
-your siblings urge you to get married and have lots of babies for them to play with.
-you can bathe 3 small children (in the same bathtub) and have them all clean, dry, and dressed in under 20 minutes (collectively, not for each).
-you can get most of the kids ready for bed in under half an hour…on good days or when you’ve found a good bribe/threat.
-you know how to buckle a car seat into any vehicle with your eyes closed.
-you rarely drive anything that seats fewer than 6 people
-you don’t drive anything that is new and shiny, because your family owns no such car.
-the bloodstains on your clothes usually came from the knees, noses, lips, and heads of your brother and sisters.
-you are your parent’s guinea pig for everything.
-you went to school…and your parents decided to home school the others and you too.
-despite the fact that you are the oldest, you still wear hand-me-downs.
-your baby sister gets hurt, you feel responsible.
-someone else’s chores don’t get done, your mother asks you why.
-you get sick of hearing that you have to be a “good example”
-your siblings can usually get away with blaming anything on you.
-your sense of responsibility irritates the livin’ daylights out of you sometimes.
-the only thing you can think to talk about is…your family.
-you get in a fight with your younger brother, and (physical or not) you get in trouble, even though you didn’t start it, because “you’re the oldest.”
-you come back home after an extended absence, and find your bed has been commandeered by stuff or a brother/sister, and your next youngest sister/brother is wearing your clothes.
-you know what to do when your mother goes into labor.
-unlike your typical, hedonistic/public schooled/democratic peers, you knew more about birthing and childrearing at 16 than they ever will.
-you dream of having family like yours, but you won’t treat your oldest so poorly.
-you love children. You actually know the good and bad about kids, and you love them anyway, including their faults and tendencies.
-no matter what your gender, you play cowboys and Indians with your brothers, and dollies with your sisters, and sometimes a combination of both.
-when your family gets the “throwing-up-germ,” you are the one who cleans everything up and comforts the kids, and, usually only if you are female, you do this even when you too are sick.
-you make frequent runs to the store for, among other things, milk
-you can make a good-tasting, filling meal for a dozen people for under $20.
-your father is the dictator/monarch and your mother his assistant. Despite the fact that there are plenty of other minions about, them seem to dictate everything to you...
-when by yourself, you can’t get anything done because the silence is too noisy.
-people say that your family has “a million kids,” and you try to inform them that there is an enormous difference between a million and 10 (or whatever it is).
-you make bets with your friends on who’s mom will have another baby first.
-you see red when the dummy at church comes up to you and says “so rhythm didn’t work for you guys, huh?” You then proceed to give him a piece of your mind, in a calm, controlled manner. Or, you just say, “ask my dad” because you love to see him cream dummies.
-you dread the day when your next younger sister/brother will induce a mutiny in the absence of your parents.
-you are the first one into the pew on Sunday, and you walk all the way to the end.
-you can launder anything
-your mother cried when you left for the first time, and the second, and the third...
-your little brothers and sisters cried when you left too.
-you get the last shower (cause the other kids have to go to bed sooner) and the hot water is…
-you realize that your parents are growing more and more lax with each successive child.
-your barber is your parent, usually your mother
-when you go to brush your teeth, the first thing you do is wipe off the outside of the toothpaste and rinse off 5 other toothbrushes.
-you know that boys and girls are different, despite what modern pop-psychology is telling you
-you know that girls and boys have to be complimented and encouraged differently.
-you mow the lawn…always.
-during your absence, your siblings (sometimes your parents) suddenly realize all that you do…and wish you’d come back and do it.
-you are entirely confidant that you could run the household on your own.
-you are versatile when it comes to socializing with different ages
-you feel the need to go to weekly (or even daily) confession.
-when you meet a new person, you can easily identify if they are the oldest, youngest, only (they stick out like a sore thumb), etc. child in their families.
-your family is the most environmentally friendly one you know.
-you had your own room for 6 months: between ages 2 and 4 when your next youngest sibling joined you because mom had another baby.
-as a kid, you dreamed of having your own bed.
-your friends ask you where you got your shirt, and you’ve got no clue, so you say “oh, probably from a black bag.”
-you can read a book to the tune of wailing fire-engines, piano recitals, battle reenactments, full blown rows, and your brother reciting times-tables.
-when people ask you “can’t your parents count?” you respond “Yep, better and higher than most.”
-you thank God for giving you such a family, because now you can skip Purgatory.

Some Favorite Quotes

The men of the East may spell the stars
And the times and triumphs mark
But the men signed of the Cross of Christ
Go gaily in the dark.
~Gilbert Keith Chesterton

Know thyself, and thy faults, and thus live.
-St. Augustine

Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are actually married to.
-J.RR Tolkien

O God, come to my assistance!
O Lord, make haste to help me!

Our hearts are restless until they rest in you, Lord.
-St. Augustine.

Always do right. This will gratify some and astonish others.
-Mark Twain

For the great Gaels of Ireland
Are the men that God made mad,
For all their wars are merry,
And all their songs are sad.
-GKC

We have loved them dearly during life, so let us not abandon them until we have conducted them by our prayers into the house of the Lord.”
-St. Ambrose.

It is charity that gives unity to all the virtues that make a man perfect.
-St. Alphonsus Ligouri

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning.” Lamentations 3:22

“Memento mori.”

The soul’s true life and response are to abide in God.
-St. Albert the Great

If a ray of heavenly light could draw aside the veil from your eyes, you would see these suffering souls hoving around each station with upraised arms imploring you, ‘Have pity on me, have pity on me! Make the way of the cross for me, your father, your mother, your friend!’
St. Leonard or Port Maurice

God’s will—nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.
-St. Elizabeth Ann Seton

Our very nature is fire, created in the fire of His love. He is the fire, and we are the sparks
-St. Catherine of Siena

I will pray to You that You may give me holiness, and to all the living and dead, pardon, that someday we may all be together with You, our dearest God.
-St. John Neumann

Some souls would suffer in purgatory until the Day of Judgment if they were not relieved by the prayers of the Church.
-St. Robert Bellarmine.

Our dead are among the invisible, not among the absent.
-Pope John XXIII

The more the soul loves, the more it desires to love, and the greater its suffering, the greater its healing. -St. Columban

Let the love and compassion for your neighbor lead you to the holy table; for nothing is so well calculated to obtain eternal rest for the holy souls.
-St. Bonaventure.

Have confidence in your guardian angel. Treat him as a lifelong friend—that is what he is—and he will render you a thousand services in the ordinary affairs of the day.”
-St. Josemaria Escriva

There is a need of living well, but there is more need of dying well. A good death is everything.
-Bl. Louis Guanella

The fruit of silence is prayer. The fruit of prayer is faith. The fruit of faith is love. The fruit of love is service. The fruit of service is peace.
-Mother Theresa of Calcutta

To Mary was given the power, by her intercession and merits, to release the souls from purgatory, particularly those that were foremost in their devotion to her.
-St Bernardine of Siena

“And the king rose to meet her, and bowed down to her; then he sat on his throne, and had a seat brought for the king’s mother; and she sat on his right. Then she said ‘I have one small request to make of you; do not refuse me.’ And the king said to her, ‘Make your request my mother; for I will not refuse you.’”
-1 Kings 2

The rosary beats the rhythm of human life. It is a compendium of the gospel
-JPII.

Of course Our Lady is the Coredeptrix. She gave us Jesus, the redeemer, so she is the co-redeemer.
-Mother Theresa of Calcutta

An Elvin-maid there was of old,
A shining star by day:
Her mantle white was hemmed with gold,
Her shoes of silver gray….
-The Lay of the Maiden Nimrodel

And there was death on the Emperor
And night upon the Pope;
And Alfred , hiding in deep grass
Hardened his heart with hope.
-GKC

When you call me that, smile.
-The Virginian

Mansfield, you missed me again, just like your broken-down neck did at the gorge the other day. And if ya don’t kill me by missin’ me, you’re gonna kill me with your poison cookin’.
-Old Man Bloodshy, Hot Lead and Cold Feet

I got the edge on him: I know he’s here, and he knows I know he’s here, but he doesn’t know that I know he knows I know he’s here. So I’ve got the edge.
-Hot Lead and Cold Feet

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
-Lord of the Rings

Resolutions for the New Year

Well, I was going to attempt to do a sort of “year in review” post, but it got too long to read, and because I’ve got trouble with follow through on things as soon as they get tedious and boring. That post did.

Is it dumb to make New Year’s resolutions? I tend to think not because I personally find it helpful to write out or formulate my goals. Otherwise, I just don’t even think about what my goals are. I am naturally flighty, but am doing my best to keep it in it’s proper bounds and reign by giving myself small conquests. Is it foolish to say, at the beginning of the year, "I shall make myself a better person and resolve to overcome this weakness in the new year"? I think it is good, because, though it is a sort of secular thing, I see some sacredness in it, for I beleive it to be grace that encourages people to rid themselves of faults and grow in virtue. Our Lord and Lady, I think, are truly pleased when people try to perfect themselves, though it does hurt them to be shoved off. All the more reason for faithful Christians to make reparation for careless hurts. There's an idea for a resolution.

What of my new years resolutions? Well, as the constant procrastinator that I am, I've not finished formulating any yet. I think one should always try to better himself, and, since I am the worst sinner I know, I have some to make...perhaps starting with procrastination ;-). I think, though, that at the present moment that fault is too big a mountain to ascend right now.