I graduated from college 4 years and 2 months ago. I started working at my present job 3 year, 8 months and 1 week ago. If I could go back and tell myself "well, honey, you are still working in the same job, you still have tons of loans, you are still single, no husband/kids yet..." would I change anything? I was certainly expecting things to be different...I was hoping they would be.
When we have expectations and they are not met, we tend to get angry...which then leads to resentment. Resentment leads to self pity, but at the same time you've got to blame someone...someone besides yourself because you certainly did not do this to yourself...you would never have chosen to be this unhappy. That is what happens to all of these marriages that "survive" but are miserable beyond belief, with the spouses nitpicking each other to death. People get married expecting it to be one way and it is not, which then occludes their ability to see all of the good that they cannot see because they were not expecting it and are too focused on their own dissapointment.
Perhaps it is better to avoid expectations, but this leads one to abandon hope for better things. Can there not be a middle ground? a balance? I know this to be possible.
No matter what I "expect" to happen in my life, I know that God's will would be so much better than anything I could have dreamed up. It all comes down to a reoccuring theme of this summer: trust. Would I go back and change anything knowing what I know now? Probably not. Do I trust God enough? Absolutely not.
O Lord, be merciful to me a fool.
No comments:
Post a Comment